Sunday, May 31, 2009
What is your role as a leader of a group, team or organisation?
What is your role as a leader of a group, team or organisation?
Have you ever asked yourself this question? Not long ago, I was introduced to a book by Esther Cameron, someone I knew and met a few years ago when I was in Netherlands as part of a team of people facilitating a leadership conference.
The book is called "Making sense of Leadership - exploring the five key roles used by effective leaders" Esther coauthored the book with a colleague of hers, Mike Green.
When I first read it, I didn't really have much insights until recently, when I heard a speech made by the outgoing CEO of the company where I'm currently working. The outgoing CEO talked about leadership and made a remark which I interpret to be this: the leaders in the company (i.e business heads and their people) need to be less facilitative and more directive. It doesn't mean command and control; you listen, but after listening you say this is what I think we should do, and we will do this. Then get people onboard to the decision that you favour. It sounds to me that the outgoing CEO wanted to put emphasis on execution. Don't spend too much time deciding, debating - just do it, according to what the leader decides.
Is this what leadership is about, I asked myself? Should all leaders be like what the outgoing CEO was advocating? I personally don't think so because everyone has his or her own style of leadership - directive is not the only style and may not work in all situations. But maybe this is what the company needs now, a more directive style of leadership, and less consensus driven.
I picked up Esther's book and started to read again. The central idea in the book is about leadership roles - that was what was different about it. I appreciated the mini literature review the authors did on the leadership literature out there - from Blake and Mouton's task vs people focused leaders to Goleman's 6 leadership styles . Nobody (at least as far I know) has framed leadership in terms of the different roles leaders play.
There are 5 of them:
1. Edgy catalyser
2. Visionary Motivator
3. Measured connector
4. Tenacious Implementer
5. Thoughtful architect
A leaders uses a combination of the five of them, but to varying degrees depending on the situation. In the case of the company I work in, the emphasis from the outgoing CEO was for leaders to up their focus on no 4, tenacious implementer, to focus on execution and implementation.
Where does leadership styles fit into this? Leadership styles is about how a leader leads. It's about how he/she is perceived by others in the way he/she leads. Is he/she more authoritative or is he/she more democratic? If I use Goleman's 6 leadership styles model as the example model for leadership styles, there are 6 of them: Coercive, authoritative, affiliative, democratic, pacesetting and coaching. Leaders use all 6 styles.
I think leadership roles in Esther's conceptualisation is a blend of the "what and how" a leader leads. What refers to what the leader primarily focus on and how is how the leader leads (i.e. leadership style). A tenacious implementer focuses on getting things done (there is bias on action and speed) and the style the leader employs is likely authoritative, coercive and/or pacesetting sometimes.
The question that I had at the begining was: What is your role as a leader of a group, team or organisation? Aside from the technical or functional role of the job itself, the concept of leader roles by Esther and Mike provides an additional frame to view leadership, i.e. what a leader focuses on and how the leader goes about accomplishing the "what".
Does this raise any questions for you? Please feel free to leave your your views and comments below!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
How doyou manage the company/business/dept/section during a recession?
How does one manage the company/business/dept/section during a recession?
The environment we are in now, there is a global slowdown of trade, activity, and business. Customers are cutting back because their customers are cutting back. One end of the chain is consumer spending - if people don't spend, business cannot sell. It then affects the entire supply chain.
We've also heard governments is always aiming to maintain a balance between inflation and deflation. If price goes up too fast, then spending power is reduced - people will spend less as a result and economic activity will suffer. Deflation can happen when there is financial crisis like what is happening now - economic activity goes down because banks are not lending to businesses. Banks are not lending because there is no confidence that they will be paid back. It's actually a confidence issue. When we hear credit freeze, it means banks are not lending, i.e. credit is not flowing. Governments like the US is trying to restore confidence in the banking system but is facing many challenges. Deflation as I understand, even if price is low and is lowered, consumer spending does not increase because consumers are not confident of spending when the economy is not in a good shape.
Anyway, I digress into the economics of the slowdown...
I read something useful on how one can look at managing the downturn - the source comes from market research firm Frost and Sullivan. SMEs are mentioned as a specific target on how to manage during the downturn but I think it's relevant to MNCs or any big local companies as well.
If you are an organisational leader, what do you do in this environment? If you are a department head or section head, what do you do? If you are a small business owner what do you do?
Here's a useful model to look at how to manage during a downturn.
1. Short term (~1 year)
Maintain your key people (keep their talent in place)
Look at how to manage cash and keep costs down
2. Medium term (perhaps 1 year+ onwards)
Focus on improving efficiency (improve productivity)
Develop better processes so that you can still deliver to the end user
3. Long term (2/3 years onwards)
Have a view of the future - keep on investing for the upturn when it comes.
Identify key areas to invest in to position oneself for the upturn
For the leader, manager or anyone who leads a team - provide strong leadership, positivity and the right mindset for the crisis.
Do not cut down on everything - keep investing in critical investments because they will take you to the next level when the recession ends.
Further reflections on the short-term strategy
It's important to keep the talent. If you are the employee, recognise this - prove to the company, your leader that you are a valuable talent to the company. Take the initiative to come up with ideas or suggestions on how to improve the business, reduce costs (e.g. cutting down on bureaucractic processes), attract more customers, sell more to existing customers, etc.
Thoughts? Comments? I'd love to hear from you.
The environment we are in now, there is a global slowdown of trade, activity, and business. Customers are cutting back because their customers are cutting back. One end of the chain is consumer spending - if people don't spend, business cannot sell. It then affects the entire supply chain.
We've also heard governments is always aiming to maintain a balance between inflation and deflation. If price goes up too fast, then spending power is reduced - people will spend less as a result and economic activity will suffer. Deflation can happen when there is financial crisis like what is happening now - economic activity goes down because banks are not lending to businesses. Banks are not lending because there is no confidence that they will be paid back. It's actually a confidence issue. When we hear credit freeze, it means banks are not lending, i.e. credit is not flowing. Governments like the US is trying to restore confidence in the banking system but is facing many challenges. Deflation as I understand, even if price is low and is lowered, consumer spending does not increase because consumers are not confident of spending when the economy is not in a good shape.
Anyway, I digress into the economics of the slowdown...
I read something useful on how one can look at managing the downturn - the source comes from market research firm Frost and Sullivan. SMEs are mentioned as a specific target on how to manage during the downturn but I think it's relevant to MNCs or any big local companies as well.
If you are an organisational leader, what do you do in this environment? If you are a department head or section head, what do you do? If you are a small business owner what do you do?
Here's a useful model to look at how to manage during a downturn.
1. Short term (~1 year)
Maintain your key people (keep their talent in place)
Look at how to manage cash and keep costs down
2. Medium term (perhaps 1 year+ onwards)
Focus on improving efficiency (improve productivity)
Develop better processes so that you can still deliver to the end user
3. Long term (2/3 years onwards)
Have a view of the future - keep on investing for the upturn when it comes.
Identify key areas to invest in to position oneself for the upturn
For the leader, manager or anyone who leads a team - provide strong leadership, positivity and the right mindset for the crisis.
Do not cut down on everything - keep investing in critical investments because they will take you to the next level when the recession ends.
Further reflections on the short-term strategy
It's important to keep the talent. If you are the employee, recognise this - prove to the company, your leader that you are a valuable talent to the company. Take the initiative to come up with ideas or suggestions on how to improve the business, reduce costs (e.g. cutting down on bureaucractic processes), attract more customers, sell more to existing customers, etc.
Thoughts? Comments? I'd love to hear from you.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Branding, not size is key to attracting talent
A survey conducted by Singapore National Employer's Federation and a strategic consultancy, StrategiCom found that brand is more important that company size in attracting talent.
It says SMEs (small medium enterprises) must focus not on raising salary offers, but on building a forward looking brand to attract and retain quality staff. This would seem sensible for SMEs who often cannot compete with bigger MNCs in terms of salary offers.
How does a company build it's brand? This is not product branding but the branding of the company and how it treats its employees. The areas to focus on are:
1. Build on the values of recognition and appreciation of employee's work
2. Opportunity of career progression
3. Training & development
Identify what is unique about what you can offer to potential employees that differentiate you from the competitor. For example, an entrepreutrial culture, access to top management and an innovative approach. And then, follow up by communicating it CONSISTENTLY. Communicating the employee value proposition consistently is what I think companies fail to do well, even for the larger companies. Consistently means the managers, the policies and benefits are all aligned and do not contradict each other.
If SMEs are serious about attracting and retaining talent, what will work for them is to find out what is unique about the company and the communicate it consistently. Focusing on employee recognition, opportunity for career progression, training and development are however, the bare minimum SME must do because almost all the firms do this (especially even so for bigger companies that have more resources than SMEs to devote to such initiatives)
What are your thoughts?
It says SMEs (small medium enterprises) must focus not on raising salary offers, but on building a forward looking brand to attract and retain quality staff. This would seem sensible for SMEs who often cannot compete with bigger MNCs in terms of salary offers.
How does a company build it's brand? This is not product branding but the branding of the company and how it treats its employees. The areas to focus on are:
1. Build on the values of recognition and appreciation of employee's work
2. Opportunity of career progression
3. Training & development
Identify what is unique about what you can offer to potential employees that differentiate you from the competitor. For example, an entrepreutrial culture, access to top management and an innovative approach. And then, follow up by communicating it CONSISTENTLY. Communicating the employee value proposition consistently is what I think companies fail to do well, even for the larger companies. Consistently means the managers, the policies and benefits are all aligned and do not contradict each other.
If SMEs are serious about attracting and retaining talent, what will work for them is to find out what is unique about the company and the communicate it consistently. Focusing on employee recognition, opportunity for career progression, training and development are however, the bare minimum SME must do because almost all the firms do this (especially even so for bigger companies that have more resources than SMEs to devote to such initiatives)
What are your thoughts?
Sunday, March 8, 2009
What matters to you at work? What matters to you about your family? What matters to you about your community?
What matters to you at work? What matters to you about your family? What matters to you about your community? The list can go on and on. What matters to you about your marriage? What matters to you about your singlehood? What matters to you about your relationships with friends? What matters to you in life?
Ponder on that for a moment and see what you come up with....
When I reflected on these questions, I came to realise that the stories and reflections web site was created out of values which are personal to me, values about personal growth, expressing myself authentically, learning through stories and reflections and connecting people so that they can help and support each other through their experiences and/or their knowledge. The primary objective of the site was not about making money. It's a secondary or tertiary objective, if that should ever happen. The focus is on personal expression and community building for mutual support. If people find it interesting, thought provoking and useful, they will come back and tell others about it. They may show their appreciation by giving back to the community either by offering their expertise, experience or supporting the advertising or products/services on the site. The site will be able to sustain itself and grow through these contributions, allowing more people to connect and reap the benefits of the knowledge and social connections.
Further reflections...
The society we live in today has by and large adopted a utility mindset. Instrumental values (e.g. money, materialism, practicality, efficiency) are what is prized and rewarded. Self-interest which is a major driving force of the economist mindset has overwhelmed the culture we live in. What do I get in return for doing something drives the thinking and decision making, both at an individual level, organisation and societal level. What is the cost and what is the benefit of doing something? Is the potential return worth the cost that we are going to spend on it?
Compare the list you came up with earlier with the instrumental values that is so prevalent today? Is there a gap? Is there any disconnect?
Did you come up with values like personal growth, beauty, appreciating art, learning for the sake of learning, not just for the sake of a future benefit, love, caring for other people, creating a better working place, community or organisation?
I would love to hear from you. Please share your thoughts or comments...
Ponder on that for a moment and see what you come up with....
When I reflected on these questions, I came to realise that the stories and reflections web site was created out of values which are personal to me, values about personal growth, expressing myself authentically, learning through stories and reflections and connecting people so that they can help and support each other through their experiences and/or their knowledge. The primary objective of the site was not about making money. It's a secondary or tertiary objective, if that should ever happen. The focus is on personal expression and community building for mutual support. If people find it interesting, thought provoking and useful, they will come back and tell others about it. They may show their appreciation by giving back to the community either by offering their expertise, experience or supporting the advertising or products/services on the site. The site will be able to sustain itself and grow through these contributions, allowing more people to connect and reap the benefits of the knowledge and social connections.
Further reflections...
The society we live in today has by and large adopted a utility mindset. Instrumental values (e.g. money, materialism, practicality, efficiency) are what is prized and rewarded. Self-interest which is a major driving force of the economist mindset has overwhelmed the culture we live in. What do I get in return for doing something drives the thinking and decision making, both at an individual level, organisation and societal level. What is the cost and what is the benefit of doing something? Is the potential return worth the cost that we are going to spend on it?
Compare the list you came up with earlier with the instrumental values that is so prevalent today? Is there a gap? Is there any disconnect?
Did you come up with values like personal growth, beauty, appreciating art, learning for the sake of learning, not just for the sake of a future benefit, love, caring for other people, creating a better working place, community or organisation?
I would love to hear from you. Please share your thoughts or comments...
Saturday, March 7, 2009
When you were young what did you like to do?
When I was young, I listened to the radio...
Waitin’ for my favorite songs
When they played I’d sing along...
It made me smile
Do you recognise the lyrics and tune of the song? Can you hear it in your head?
I grew up listening to that song by Karen Carpenter. Hearing the tune in my head now transported me back in time, when life was carefree and I was idealistic about the world.
To me that song symbolised the notion of idealism.
By the time I entered junior college, I still had the idealism in me. I still had strong sense of idealism in my thinking - the essays I wrote in school were about how I saw the world, what it could be, what I would do to help make it what it could be, that I would do things my way even if it is hard and it may take me longer. Then I went into university and my world changed...
I joined the engineering faculty and it was tough from day one. I feel the tremendous quantity of work, the long lecture and tutorial hours every week and felt worn out by the end of every week. There were many assignments and projects to be completed in tight deadlines. I felt rather overwhelmed. Despite this I persevered but you know what, I lost quite a bit of my idealism in university in that course that I undertook. Slowly but surely I began to adopt the engineering mindset - be practical, be efficient. I no longer could afford to do things my way or spend too much time reflecting and letting myself come to my own conclusion or solution because of the huge number of assignments and tight deadlines for them. Engineering trained me to be analytical and to be comfortable in analysing problems and issues and for that I am grateful.
Idealism is one of three qualities that is required of us if we are to focus on what matters. The other two is intimacy and depth (according to Peter Block, an author whose work I really enjoy reading because he asks the difficult questions that provokes deep and reflective thinking...)
Intimacy means personal interaction, face to face time, allowing people to people engagement. Technology increases our isolation yet at the same time promises to overcome it. Peter Block tells of the story of his mother where she used to keep the TV on all the time to try to overcome her loneliness. It didn't. It only made enough noise so that she did not have to really make contact with others who might have offered some genuine comfort.
Depth means going deeper to reflect, instead of going faster. The society now emphasises speed and rewards it. How fast can you go? How efficient can you be? We prefer actions and answers. You hear it all the time in the working place:
We want to have a bias for action
Talk is cheap. Action speaks louder than words
Those who can do, do. Those who can't teach.
I'm not condemning the need to be efficient or the need to take action. Those are needed when it is time to act but before that, we should spend enough time thinking and reflecting before we take the leap. It is a balancing act and the balance is heavily tilted in favour of action in the prevailing culture. Not all things require the depth of reflection. Things that matter to us does. If we want to act on what matters to us, we need to shift our consciousness about pace. If we do not have time to do something, it is a sign that it does not matter. Values that we hold dear will wilt under the pressure of time. It is hard to imagine instant trust, instant justice, instant respect, instant high performing teams, instant reconciliation. If we yield to the temptation of speed, we short circuit our values. This leads to personal disappointment and loss of faith in our attempt to bring our strategies and models into the world...
What are your thoughts? Pls share your comments
Waitin’ for my favorite songs
When they played I’d sing along...
It made me smile
Do you recognise the lyrics and tune of the song? Can you hear it in your head?
I grew up listening to that song by Karen Carpenter. Hearing the tune in my head now transported me back in time, when life was carefree and I was idealistic about the world.
To me that song symbolised the notion of idealism.
By the time I entered junior college, I still had the idealism in me. I still had strong sense of idealism in my thinking - the essays I wrote in school were about how I saw the world, what it could be, what I would do to help make it what it could be, that I would do things my way even if it is hard and it may take me longer. Then I went into university and my world changed...
I joined the engineering faculty and it was tough from day one. I feel the tremendous quantity of work, the long lecture and tutorial hours every week and felt worn out by the end of every week. There were many assignments and projects to be completed in tight deadlines. I felt rather overwhelmed. Despite this I persevered but you know what, I lost quite a bit of my idealism in university in that course that I undertook. Slowly but surely I began to adopt the engineering mindset - be practical, be efficient. I no longer could afford to do things my way or spend too much time reflecting and letting myself come to my own conclusion or solution because of the huge number of assignments and tight deadlines for them. Engineering trained me to be analytical and to be comfortable in analysing problems and issues and for that I am grateful.
Idealism is one of three qualities that is required of us if we are to focus on what matters. The other two is intimacy and depth (according to Peter Block, an author whose work I really enjoy reading because he asks the difficult questions that provokes deep and reflective thinking...)
Intimacy means personal interaction, face to face time, allowing people to people engagement. Technology increases our isolation yet at the same time promises to overcome it. Peter Block tells of the story of his mother where she used to keep the TV on all the time to try to overcome her loneliness. It didn't. It only made enough noise so that she did not have to really make contact with others who might have offered some genuine comfort.
Depth means going deeper to reflect, instead of going faster. The society now emphasises speed and rewards it. How fast can you go? How efficient can you be? We prefer actions and answers. You hear it all the time in the working place:
We want to have a bias for action
Talk is cheap. Action speaks louder than words
Those who can do, do. Those who can't teach.
I'm not condemning the need to be efficient or the need to take action. Those are needed when it is time to act but before that, we should spend enough time thinking and reflecting before we take the leap. It is a balancing act and the balance is heavily tilted in favour of action in the prevailing culture. Not all things require the depth of reflection. Things that matter to us does. If we want to act on what matters to us, we need to shift our consciousness about pace. If we do not have time to do something, it is a sign that it does not matter. Values that we hold dear will wilt under the pressure of time. It is hard to imagine instant trust, instant justice, instant respect, instant high performing teams, instant reconciliation. If we yield to the temptation of speed, we short circuit our values. This leads to personal disappointment and loss of faith in our attempt to bring our strategies and models into the world...
What are your thoughts? Pls share your comments
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Stories of love & compassion
Yesterday was Valentine's day. It warms my heart when I read the the stories about love featured on the local Straits Times newscopy. Here's a shorter version of some of these stories ...
In Sickness or in health...
For richer or poorer...
For better or worse, till death do us part....
Mr Tham wrote (in Chinese),
"I love you for being kind
I love you for being uncomplicated
I love you for being loving
You are a rare wife"
Madam Chan responded:
"I want you to be happy
I want you to be free
I want you to be healthy
I'm glas for our 40 happy years together"
Madam Chan was diagnosed with breast cancer in late 2007. She died peacefully one evening, on March 2008 as Mr Tham held her hand.
In Sickness or in health...
As a 17 year old girl, Siti grew up in Bali Indonesia and worked at her mother's satay stall after school and would always tease a chinese guy by the name of Chong who patronizes her mother's stall everyday. He was working in an ornamental fish farm in Bali. She would urge Mr Chong to get married quick so that she could take care of his children. Love works in mysterious ways.
One year later, Chong did get married and Siti was the bride. He was 35. She was 18. They moved to Singapore and started life together. Their blissful union gave them 2 boys and a girl. Life seemed complete. Mr Chong got a job a lorry driver and she looked after the kids.
Then tragedy struck. One day, Siti received a phone call from the police station that the husband had been found unconscious in his vehicle. A blood vessel had burst in his brain. He went into a coma for a month. The doctors advised Siti that even if he came out of it, he would be severely paralysed. But Siti scolded them and said she would stick by him no matter what.
After a few weeks at the hospital, Chong opened his eyes one day. After a few months of therapy, Chong was discharged but he was paralysed on his right side. He is fully aware of what goes on around him despite having limited movement of his limbs.
Madam Siti now has to take care of him and the family. She cannot look for work because Mr Chong requires special care (for example he needs to be fed every 3 hours). Neighbours help Madam Siti cope and keep her sane but Madam Siti worries constantly because money from their central provident fund insurance is depleting day by day. The family is close, despite all this. When the youngest son comes home from school, the first thing he does is to kiss his father's feet and bury his head affectionately in his neck. When the reporter asks if he worries for the future of the family, he lets out a guttural cry and a trickle of tears seeps from the corners of his eyes....
For richer or poorer...
The story is about a former CAD head and lawyer who lost his jobm home and friends but his wife stood by him. In 1991, Mr Glenn Knight lost everything after he was nabbed for attempting to chear a would-be investor out of $3 million. He was jailed for a day, fined and struck off the rolls of lawyers. He lost pensions and benefits. He now lives in a small 1 room HDB flat with bare essentials to get by. What moved me was what the wife said when they shrugged off the tremendous loss they had suffered. She said "You started with nothing, along the way you get somewhere and you lose it. Well you just have to shrug your shoulders and get on with it.... You can't bring these material things to your grave."
So live life happily and be grateful for each other and what you have.
For better or worse, till death do us part....
An elderly couple penned her love for each other with the help of music therapist Melanie Kwan.
Mr Tham, 75 is wheel chair bound, and has lost a leg to diabetes. His wife, Madam Chan lay weak and frail on a bed, down with breast cancer. Melanie asks the couple to share their feelings for each other and she will use these as lyrics in the song that she will compose.
"I love you for being kind
I love you for being uncomplicated
I love you for being loving
You are a rare wife"
Madam Chan responded:
"I want you to be happy
I want you to be free
I want you to be healthy
I'm glas for our 40 happy years together"
Madam Chan was diagnosed with breast cancer in late 2007. She died peacefully one evening, on March 2008 as Mr Tham held her hand.
Monday, January 12, 2009
What makes life worthwhile?
What makes life worthwhile?
This question came to mind after watching this video clip . Take a look yourself - what question comes to your mind after viewing it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MslbhDZoniY
Two things struck me after watching the clip:
First, life is worthwhile if we are continually inspired. What inspires you? I reckon it is different for each one of us. In that little video, as I watched the man attempting to get back up when he was down, I am inspired by strength of the human spirit embodied by him. Other things inspire us as well. I believe that we are also inspired by the grace, the wonder and beauty of life, which is all around us. And it costs nothing. It's that beautiful flower you see, the magnificent sunset over the horizon, the breeze in your face when you go cycling, it's the bright, sunny day with the bluest sky you see when you go to the park for a walk... it's the things all around us, that we so often in the rush of your daily lives, forget to stop and be still, and appreciate the present, to appreciate the beauty around us that has the capacity to inspire us all.
Second, life is worthwhile if we connect with other people genuinely. As I watched the man interact with his audience, I find myself asking, if I were him, in his position, what would make life worthwhile for me? Why would I want to continue living?
An insight flashed in my mind - it's about people to people connection. Life would be meaningful if I am able to genuinely connect with people and with as many different people as possible and make a positive difference in their lives somehow, or impact their experience in a positive way somehow, even if it's just for a brief moment. Something about connecting with another person makes life meaningful. Maslow was right - we are social creatures. We need social connection in our lives. Social interaction gives meaning to our lives. If I were him (the man in the video), life would be worthwhile if I can use what I have (in this case my disability) to inspire others, to impart certain life lessons (for example, his message was not to give up). In the process, I am able to connect with other people authentically and that makes my life meaningful.
If I think about it and extrapolate this further, I dare say that he is able to do and accomplish anything that an able-bodied person is able to do on the things that matter in life. In fact, I think that if people who are disabled is able to stop feeling sorry for themselves, they are able to live life joyously and be really happy because they are acutely sensitive and aware of what truly gives them meaning and what is truly worthwhile in life.
What are your thoughts?
Chris (teller)
http://www.storiesandreflections.com/
This question came to mind after watching this video clip . Take a look yourself - what question comes to your mind after viewing it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MslbhDZoniY
Two things struck me after watching the clip:
First, life is worthwhile if we are continually inspired. What inspires you? I reckon it is different for each one of us. In that little video, as I watched the man attempting to get back up when he was down, I am inspired by strength of the human spirit embodied by him. Other things inspire us as well. I believe that we are also inspired by the grace, the wonder and beauty of life, which is all around us. And it costs nothing. It's that beautiful flower you see, the magnificent sunset over the horizon, the breeze in your face when you go cycling, it's the bright, sunny day with the bluest sky you see when you go to the park for a walk... it's the things all around us, that we so often in the rush of your daily lives, forget to stop and be still, and appreciate the present, to appreciate the beauty around us that has the capacity to inspire us all.
Second, life is worthwhile if we connect with other people genuinely. As I watched the man interact with his audience, I find myself asking, if I were him, in his position, what would make life worthwhile for me? Why would I want to continue living?
An insight flashed in my mind - it's about people to people connection. Life would be meaningful if I am able to genuinely connect with people and with as many different people as possible and make a positive difference in their lives somehow, or impact their experience in a positive way somehow, even if it's just for a brief moment. Something about connecting with another person makes life meaningful. Maslow was right - we are social creatures. We need social connection in our lives. Social interaction gives meaning to our lives. If I were him (the man in the video), life would be worthwhile if I can use what I have (in this case my disability) to inspire others, to impart certain life lessons (for example, his message was not to give up). In the process, I am able to connect with other people authentically and that makes my life meaningful.
If I think about it and extrapolate this further, I dare say that he is able to do and accomplish anything that an able-bodied person is able to do on the things that matter in life. In fact, I think that if people who are disabled is able to stop feeling sorry for themselves, they are able to live life joyously and be really happy because they are acutely sensitive and aware of what truly gives them meaning and what is truly worthwhile in life.
What are your thoughts?
Chris (teller)
http://www.storiesandreflections.com/
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Is there a secret weapon, an inside secret that the most joyful and successful people know and the rest of us don’t?
What makes people happy AND successful?
Is there a secret weapon, an inside secret that the most joyful and successful people know and the rest of us don’t?
Peter Temes argues yes, in his book The Power of Purpose. The answer, according to him is this: the more you focus on helping others, the more you will succeed in reaching your own goals.
The secret to happiness in the long term, to joy, is to help others.
What would make you happy? If we ask this question, there will be a range of answers – some will say they want success, they want money, they want control over their lives, they want love, they want to belong to communities that help them feel important, valued and cared for. These desires, according to Peter are not really an end in itself. It’s not money that we want. It’s what that money allows us to do. It’s not power we want if it’s unused, it’s what power allows us to accomplish. Love and belonging are also not an end in itself – what is best about love is giving love, showing love and concern to the ones we love. What is best about belonging is accepting others into the circle or community. The end point of our desires is not having, it’s giving. What makes people happy in the long run is helping others. It’s what we do, not what we are. It’s how we give, not how we take.
Peter’s own life reflects such a philosophy – he started college when he was just fifteen, dropped out twice, but when he was nineteen, he started to study the forces that drive people to achieve ambitious goals. He must have wondered what is it that drove these people to achieve these extraordinary goals? He found out through his own studies and experience that the answer lie in focusing their purpose in work (and in life) to helping others, in their own unique way.
The principle is simple but profound. The more you focus on helping others, the more you will succeed in your own goals. Helping others in the most direct and effective way to reach your goals, in your relationships, at work, and in your community. This may sound as a bit of irony but it is one of the profound truths in life. Just as the saying “It is better to give than to receive”, you may think it is obvious that benefits of receiving inevitably outweigh any possible advantages of giving, but many people find that, contrary to expectations, this is not their experience.
In order to shift our thinking and mindset towards this principle, we need to be conscious and adopt level 3 thinking. The 3 levels of thinking as outlined by Temes are summarised as follows:
Level 1 Thinking
Asking ourselves: How am I? How do I feel? How do I look to myself?
The focus is on how you feel about yourself – it’s almost all you care about.
Example 1 - When you wake up in the morning and say to yourself – I’m not going to work because I feel tired and I think I don’t feel well.
Example 2 – A consultant asking how he feels giving a presentation in front of the clients
Example 3 – A salesperson focusing on doing a good job on his/her own terms
Example 4 – An operator focusing on doing a his job by his/her own internal standards
Level 2 Thinking
Asking ourselves: How do others see me? How do I look to others? How do others feel about me?
The focus is on how others see us. There is also recognition that the ways other people see the world is important.
Example 1 - You ask your spouse “Do I look as bad as I feel?”
Example 2 - The consultant asking how do I look in front of others? Do I look confident? Am I fidgeting?
Example 3 – The salesperson focusing on making a good impression on the sales prospect
Example 4 – An operator focusing on making a good impression on his supervisor or in front of his peers
Level 3 Thinking
Asking ourselves: How do others see themselves? How do others feel about themselves? What are their most important goals?
Example 1 – Asking yourself how other people feel if I don’t go to work. You may then discover the best possible motive to get out of bed into the world: “other people are depending on me today”. The motive to get up and out is not about what matters to me, but what matters to others
Example 2- The consultant focuses not on how he looks to others but focuses on the audience and their needs. He might ask himself what do they make of the presentation. He may then ask the audience for their thoughts and reactions. That will help him tailor his message accordingly to best meet their goals, needs and expectations from the material presented.
Example 3 – The salesperson has no interest in looking good but only in helping to bring the sales prospect look good in his own eyes, and reach his own goals.
Example 4 – The operator does not focus on himself, instead asks what he can do to meet the goals of his work unit or the plant where he works in. He starts to think of how he can contribute his expertise or best practice to his own work unit, other work units and the larger plant.
By shifting your thinking to level 3 thinking, you become focused not on yourself or how you look to others, but on how you can help others, and in doing so help you achieve your own success.
Related story – story of Kiran and Rachel (right click to open in an another window)
Please post your comments below
Is there a secret weapon, an inside secret that the most joyful and successful people know and the rest of us don’t?
Peter Temes argues yes, in his book The Power of Purpose. The answer, according to him is this: the more you focus on helping others, the more you will succeed in reaching your own goals.
The secret to happiness in the long term, to joy, is to help others.
What would make you happy? If we ask this question, there will be a range of answers – some will say they want success, they want money, they want control over their lives, they want love, they want to belong to communities that help them feel important, valued and cared for. These desires, according to Peter are not really an end in itself. It’s not money that we want. It’s what that money allows us to do. It’s not power we want if it’s unused, it’s what power allows us to accomplish. Love and belonging are also not an end in itself – what is best about love is giving love, showing love and concern to the ones we love. What is best about belonging is accepting others into the circle or community. The end point of our desires is not having, it’s giving. What makes people happy in the long run is helping others. It’s what we do, not what we are. It’s how we give, not how we take.
Peter’s own life reflects such a philosophy – he started college when he was just fifteen, dropped out twice, but when he was nineteen, he started to study the forces that drive people to achieve ambitious goals. He must have wondered what is it that drove these people to achieve these extraordinary goals? He found out through his own studies and experience that the answer lie in focusing their purpose in work (and in life) to helping others, in their own unique way.
The principle is simple but profound. The more you focus on helping others, the more you will succeed in your own goals. Helping others in the most direct and effective way to reach your goals, in your relationships, at work, and in your community. This may sound as a bit of irony but it is one of the profound truths in life. Just as the saying “It is better to give than to receive”, you may think it is obvious that benefits of receiving inevitably outweigh any possible advantages of giving, but many people find that, contrary to expectations, this is not their experience.
In order to shift our thinking and mindset towards this principle, we need to be conscious and adopt level 3 thinking. The 3 levels of thinking as outlined by Temes are summarised as follows:
Level 1 Thinking
Asking ourselves: How am I? How do I feel? How do I look to myself?
The focus is on how you feel about yourself – it’s almost all you care about.
Example 1 - When you wake up in the morning and say to yourself – I’m not going to work because I feel tired and I think I don’t feel well.
Example 2 – A consultant asking how he feels giving a presentation in front of the clients
Example 3 – A salesperson focusing on doing a good job on his/her own terms
Example 4 – An operator focusing on doing a his job by his/her own internal standards
Level 2 Thinking
Asking ourselves: How do others see me? How do I look to others? How do others feel about me?
The focus is on how others see us. There is also recognition that the ways other people see the world is important.
Example 1 - You ask your spouse “Do I look as bad as I feel?”
Example 2 - The consultant asking how do I look in front of others? Do I look confident? Am I fidgeting?
Example 3 – The salesperson focusing on making a good impression on the sales prospect
Example 4 – An operator focusing on making a good impression on his supervisor or in front of his peers
Level 3 Thinking
Asking ourselves: How do others see themselves? How do others feel about themselves? What are their most important goals?
Example 1 – Asking yourself how other people feel if I don’t go to work. You may then discover the best possible motive to get out of bed into the world: “other people are depending on me today”. The motive to get up and out is not about what matters to me, but what matters to others
Example 2- The consultant focuses not on how he looks to others but focuses on the audience and their needs. He might ask himself what do they make of the presentation. He may then ask the audience for their thoughts and reactions. That will help him tailor his message accordingly to best meet their goals, needs and expectations from the material presented.
Example 3 – The salesperson has no interest in looking good but only in helping to bring the sales prospect look good in his own eyes, and reach his own goals.
Example 4 – The operator does not focus on himself, instead asks what he can do to meet the goals of his work unit or the plant where he works in. He starts to think of how he can contribute his expertise or best practice to his own work unit, other work units and the larger plant.
By shifting your thinking to level 3 thinking, you become focused not on yourself or how you look to others, but on how you can help others, and in doing so help you achieve your own success.
Related story – story of Kiran and Rachel (right click to open in an another window)
Please post your comments below
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
