What makes life worthwhile?
This question came to mind after watching this video clip . Take a look yourself - what question comes to your mind after viewing it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MslbhDZoniY
Two things struck me after watching the clip:
First, life is worthwhile if we are continually inspired. What inspires you? I reckon it is different for each one of us. In that little video, as I watched the man attempting to get back up when he was down, I am inspired by strength of the human spirit embodied by him. Other things inspire us as well. I believe that we are also inspired by the grace, the wonder and beauty of life, which is all around us. And it costs nothing. It's that beautiful flower you see, the magnificent sunset over the horizon, the breeze in your face when you go cycling, it's the bright, sunny day with the bluest sky you see when you go to the park for a walk... it's the things all around us, that we so often in the rush of your daily lives, forget to stop and be still, and appreciate the present, to appreciate the beauty around us that has the capacity to inspire us all.
Second, life is worthwhile if we connect with other people genuinely. As I watched the man interact with his audience, I find myself asking, if I were him, in his position, what would make life worthwhile for me? Why would I want to continue living?
An insight flashed in my mind - it's about people to people connection. Life would be meaningful if I am able to genuinely connect with people and with as many different people as possible and make a positive difference in their lives somehow, or impact their experience in a positive way somehow, even if it's just for a brief moment. Something about connecting with another person makes life meaningful. Maslow was right - we are social creatures. We need social connection in our lives. Social interaction gives meaning to our lives. If I were him (the man in the video), life would be worthwhile if I can use what I have (in this case my disability) to inspire others, to impart certain life lessons (for example, his message was not to give up). In the process, I am able to connect with other people authentically and that makes my life meaningful.
If I think about it and extrapolate this further, I dare say that he is able to do and accomplish anything that an able-bodied person is able to do on the things that matter in life. In fact, I think that if people who are disabled is able to stop feeling sorry for themselves, they are able to live life joyously and be really happy because they are acutely sensitive and aware of what truly gives them meaning and what is truly worthwhile in life.
What are your thoughts?
Chris (teller)
http://www.storiesandreflections.com/
Monday, January 12, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Is there a secret weapon, an inside secret that the most joyful and successful people know and the rest of us don’t?
What makes people happy AND successful?
Is there a secret weapon, an inside secret that the most joyful and successful people know and the rest of us don’t?
Peter Temes argues yes, in his book The Power of Purpose. The answer, according to him is this: the more you focus on helping others, the more you will succeed in reaching your own goals.
The secret to happiness in the long term, to joy, is to help others.
What would make you happy? If we ask this question, there will be a range of answers – some will say they want success, they want money, they want control over their lives, they want love, they want to belong to communities that help them feel important, valued and cared for. These desires, according to Peter are not really an end in itself. It’s not money that we want. It’s what that money allows us to do. It’s not power we want if it’s unused, it’s what power allows us to accomplish. Love and belonging are also not an end in itself – what is best about love is giving love, showing love and concern to the ones we love. What is best about belonging is accepting others into the circle or community. The end point of our desires is not having, it’s giving. What makes people happy in the long run is helping others. It’s what we do, not what we are. It’s how we give, not how we take.
Peter’s own life reflects such a philosophy – he started college when he was just fifteen, dropped out twice, but when he was nineteen, he started to study the forces that drive people to achieve ambitious goals. He must have wondered what is it that drove these people to achieve these extraordinary goals? He found out through his own studies and experience that the answer lie in focusing their purpose in work (and in life) to helping others, in their own unique way.
The principle is simple but profound. The more you focus on helping others, the more you will succeed in your own goals. Helping others in the most direct and effective way to reach your goals, in your relationships, at work, and in your community. This may sound as a bit of irony but it is one of the profound truths in life. Just as the saying “It is better to give than to receive”, you may think it is obvious that benefits of receiving inevitably outweigh any possible advantages of giving, but many people find that, contrary to expectations, this is not their experience.
In order to shift our thinking and mindset towards this principle, we need to be conscious and adopt level 3 thinking. The 3 levels of thinking as outlined by Temes are summarised as follows:
Level 1 Thinking
Asking ourselves: How am I? How do I feel? How do I look to myself?
The focus is on how you feel about yourself – it’s almost all you care about.
Example 1 - When you wake up in the morning and say to yourself – I’m not going to work because I feel tired and I think I don’t feel well.
Example 2 – A consultant asking how he feels giving a presentation in front of the clients
Example 3 – A salesperson focusing on doing a good job on his/her own terms
Example 4 – An operator focusing on doing a his job by his/her own internal standards
Level 2 Thinking
Asking ourselves: How do others see me? How do I look to others? How do others feel about me?
The focus is on how others see us. There is also recognition that the ways other people see the world is important.
Example 1 - You ask your spouse “Do I look as bad as I feel?”
Example 2 - The consultant asking how do I look in front of others? Do I look confident? Am I fidgeting?
Example 3 – The salesperson focusing on making a good impression on the sales prospect
Example 4 – An operator focusing on making a good impression on his supervisor or in front of his peers
Level 3 Thinking
Asking ourselves: How do others see themselves? How do others feel about themselves? What are their most important goals?
Example 1 – Asking yourself how other people feel if I don’t go to work. You may then discover the best possible motive to get out of bed into the world: “other people are depending on me today”. The motive to get up and out is not about what matters to me, but what matters to others
Example 2- The consultant focuses not on how he looks to others but focuses on the audience and their needs. He might ask himself what do they make of the presentation. He may then ask the audience for their thoughts and reactions. That will help him tailor his message accordingly to best meet their goals, needs and expectations from the material presented.
Example 3 – The salesperson has no interest in looking good but only in helping to bring the sales prospect look good in his own eyes, and reach his own goals.
Example 4 – The operator does not focus on himself, instead asks what he can do to meet the goals of his work unit or the plant where he works in. He starts to think of how he can contribute his expertise or best practice to his own work unit, other work units and the larger plant.
By shifting your thinking to level 3 thinking, you become focused not on yourself or how you look to others, but on how you can help others, and in doing so help you achieve your own success.
Related story – story of Kiran and Rachel (right click to open in an another window)
Please post your comments below
Is there a secret weapon, an inside secret that the most joyful and successful people know and the rest of us don’t?
Peter Temes argues yes, in his book The Power of Purpose. The answer, according to him is this: the more you focus on helping others, the more you will succeed in reaching your own goals.
The secret to happiness in the long term, to joy, is to help others.
What would make you happy? If we ask this question, there will be a range of answers – some will say they want success, they want money, they want control over their lives, they want love, they want to belong to communities that help them feel important, valued and cared for. These desires, according to Peter are not really an end in itself. It’s not money that we want. It’s what that money allows us to do. It’s not power we want if it’s unused, it’s what power allows us to accomplish. Love and belonging are also not an end in itself – what is best about love is giving love, showing love and concern to the ones we love. What is best about belonging is accepting others into the circle or community. The end point of our desires is not having, it’s giving. What makes people happy in the long run is helping others. It’s what we do, not what we are. It’s how we give, not how we take.
Peter’s own life reflects such a philosophy – he started college when he was just fifteen, dropped out twice, but when he was nineteen, he started to study the forces that drive people to achieve ambitious goals. He must have wondered what is it that drove these people to achieve these extraordinary goals? He found out through his own studies and experience that the answer lie in focusing their purpose in work (and in life) to helping others, in their own unique way.
The principle is simple but profound. The more you focus on helping others, the more you will succeed in your own goals. Helping others in the most direct and effective way to reach your goals, in your relationships, at work, and in your community. This may sound as a bit of irony but it is one of the profound truths in life. Just as the saying “It is better to give than to receive”, you may think it is obvious that benefits of receiving inevitably outweigh any possible advantages of giving, but many people find that, contrary to expectations, this is not their experience.
In order to shift our thinking and mindset towards this principle, we need to be conscious and adopt level 3 thinking. The 3 levels of thinking as outlined by Temes are summarised as follows:
Level 1 Thinking
Asking ourselves: How am I? How do I feel? How do I look to myself?
The focus is on how you feel about yourself – it’s almost all you care about.
Example 1 - When you wake up in the morning and say to yourself – I’m not going to work because I feel tired and I think I don’t feel well.
Example 2 – A consultant asking how he feels giving a presentation in front of the clients
Example 3 – A salesperson focusing on doing a good job on his/her own terms
Example 4 – An operator focusing on doing a his job by his/her own internal standards
Level 2 Thinking
Asking ourselves: How do others see me? How do I look to others? How do others feel about me?
The focus is on how others see us. There is also recognition that the ways other people see the world is important.
Example 1 - You ask your spouse “Do I look as bad as I feel?”
Example 2 - The consultant asking how do I look in front of others? Do I look confident? Am I fidgeting?
Example 3 – The salesperson focusing on making a good impression on the sales prospect
Example 4 – An operator focusing on making a good impression on his supervisor or in front of his peers
Level 3 Thinking
Asking ourselves: How do others see themselves? How do others feel about themselves? What are their most important goals?
Example 1 – Asking yourself how other people feel if I don’t go to work. You may then discover the best possible motive to get out of bed into the world: “other people are depending on me today”. The motive to get up and out is not about what matters to me, but what matters to others
Example 2- The consultant focuses not on how he looks to others but focuses on the audience and their needs. He might ask himself what do they make of the presentation. He may then ask the audience for their thoughts and reactions. That will help him tailor his message accordingly to best meet their goals, needs and expectations from the material presented.
Example 3 – The salesperson has no interest in looking good but only in helping to bring the sales prospect look good in his own eyes, and reach his own goals.
Example 4 – The operator does not focus on himself, instead asks what he can do to meet the goals of his work unit or the plant where he works in. He starts to think of how he can contribute his expertise or best practice to his own work unit, other work units and the larger plant.
By shifting your thinking to level 3 thinking, you become focused not on yourself or how you look to others, but on how you can help others, and in doing so help you achieve your own success.
Related story – story of Kiran and Rachel (right click to open in an another window)
Please post your comments below
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